Monday, April 23, 2012

On a personal note...



I have deliberated over whether I should even write this post, or more to the point, how I should write this post, but the main reason I've decided to end up posting it is because I really want to keep it real on this blog and that is something I haven't been doing lately, so here goes...

4 months ago my life turned upside down. My husband and I decided that we were not able to continue in our marriage and by all accounts, it was over. The sheer sadness + utter devastation of losing my partner and my best friend was also met with a fear of being on my own at 31 and having to start over again. To say the last few months have been rough would be an understatement: it hands down has been the hardest thing that I have had to face. But that's exactly what I've had to do, face my fears and keep moving forward. 

I wanted to share this because not only is my life undergoing a massive change right now, but also because I wanted to share my story, a story that hasn't ended in happily ever after. Sometimes life throws us a curve ball when we are least expecting it. This is a story about real love, loss and having to deal with the truth about your life being taken off course. I certainly never set out to get divorced but, the reality is that its going to happen and it has taken a lot of courage to face that fact. I continuously have to remind myself of Joseph Campbell's quote, that "we must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us". 

Its only now, months later, that I can start to look on the bright side and think about all the possible opportunities that lay ahead, and for the first time in a long time, I'm excited. I have this amazing opportunity to rediscover myself, redefine my path and create a new life.

What does the future hold for me? I'm not entirely sure yet; it has been a loooong time since I have been single, so this whole new life is going to take a bit of getting used to but, I plan to have a lot of fun, embrace every opportunity, and do things differently

Just a note on the blog as well; I have been I debating whether I should continue this little blog given all the changes that have gone on; something doesn't feel quite right and I'm still not entirely sure what the answer is here. You see, I started this blog just after I was married to document my inspirations for decorating our home together, which it has definitely evolved from, but now that my marriage has ended I question whether a new chapter and a new blog are required. You may have noticed (as I have noticed myself) that what I have been posting lately has changed and I guess this is a reflection of the way my life is evolving and the changes currently in motion. 

Thank you for reading,

Rachel xo


31 comments:

  1. Rachel that took a lot of courage to write that post, and I, for one, am very happy that you did. Because in so doing, I reckon it will help you enormously. You have obviously accepted the marriage ending, which is I imagine the first part of the process of closing the chapter. And yeah, life can sure throw curve balls, but honestly, it would be a pretty superficial life if it didn't. In going through these tough times, we gain compassion and understanding. And then when things are good, we have something to measure against, so as to appreciate the good times.

    It's interesting as to why people blog, in reference to you wondering whether to keep going or not. But I think the whole point of blogging is not to put up a pretty picture, but to get behind people, to make connections with people whom we would never otherwise meet, and through that, form bonds for both good times and bad.

    Bravo to you! xx

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  2. I'm so very sad to read your post Rachel. What a very hard one it must have been to write. I'm glad that with the passage of time you can see the upside and be excited about the future - which I'm sure is very bright :)

    I really love reading your blog and would love to see it continue but ultimately you need to do whatever is the right thing for you at this point in time. I'm sure you have a lot of blogging friends who wish you the very best whatever path you choose to take :)

    Abbey x

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  3. Rach, such a brave and beautiful post! Life does throw us curb balls (I also have experienced a few) but the best question I was ever asked was "do you want to ride the merry-go-round or the roller coaster?" and I know personally I would always choose the roller-coaster :)

    I love reading your blog and selfishly would love you to keep blogging no matter the subject matter - but make sure you do what makes YOU happy.

    Lots of love, Lise xxxx

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    1. Oh I LOVE that quote, Lisa! I am going to remember that one for sure. Roller coaster it is!

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  4. This post must have taken real courage to write, Rachel. I'm sorry to read that things have been difficult for you these past few months, but it sounds like you are making very positive steps towards a happy future. Keep strong and smiling; we'll all be here with open arms when you are ready. Hugs. Will xx

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  5. Thank you for sharing with us, Rachel. You have a big heart and it shows through your blogging. You have to do what's best for you and what makes you feel whole - whether your blog is apart of that or not. Your readers will always be here to support you both on and offline. You're in my thoughts. xo

    Molly

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  6. Rachel thanks for sharing your story and being real. Sad things do happen. I am so glad that now you are seeing things on the bright side. I wish you the best and I know there are great things for your future. As far as the blog goes,
    I love the way it has evolved. I think it has shown how you have evolved and grown as a person. I truly enjoy reading it every single morning. I love your style and your aesthetic!

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  7. Thank you so much for sharing this post Rachel. I'm so glad you've put it out there, because I'm so excited for all the support you'll receive as a result. You see, even us readers, who know you only through the little bit of you we get from this blog, can tell that you are an incredibly special person, with an appreciation for beauty and happiness. There is no doubt that you will create that again in your own life.
    Please don't stop writing-- I would miss your posts so!

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  8. hugs to you Rachel and please check your inbox

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  9. Thanks so much for sharing with us, Rachel. I know it was a difficult post to write. Only good things can come from this and you have so much going for you! As for your blog, it is on of my favorite daily reads and I loved how it's evolved over the past several months. Thinking of you! xo

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  10. Dear Rachel, I can imagine how much courage it took you to write this. And the fact that you've continued to write in times like these makes me admire you even more. By the way, your blog has never looked better. An email is on its way to you.
    Warmest hugs,
    Ada

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  11. Thank you so much for your honesty! I know we don't know each other, and I can't even comprehend what you're going through, but know that a hug is going out from me to you! I love reading your blog and look forward to more from you.

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  12. oh Rachel, I'm sorry to hear your sad news, however I'm glad and grateful for your honesty and also glad you are seeing life more positively, I'm sure thing will work out for you! Keep strong xx

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  13. Dear Rachel,
    I come from the mindset that "nothing is braver than authenticity;" you deserve to be commended for sharing your hurt. I hope you're able to surround yourself with things that lift you up and remind you of who you are deep down. I enjoy reading your words, seeing the pictures you post, and I'd encourage you that as you evolve through this- allow your blog to as well. We are drawn to your blog because of you! But, if it doesn't feel right, give yourself permission to put the blog on hold until it does feel right. As Will said, we'll welcome you with open arms...whenever that may be. I cannot even imagine what you are going through. Not a clue. But I do believe you have good things coming your way. May they make their way to you very soon!
    Kind Regards,
    Michael

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  14. I've found that blogs are a great line of support. Sometimes it is nice to start fresh and move on to something new, but always know that you have support behind you!

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  15. Life never goes the way we want it to that's for sure...I went through the same thing as you almost 5 years ago and i know how it feels..It's not an easy situation to be in, but blogging did help me a lot. It was a way out for me, a kind of therapy, where i used to throw my frustration into the unknown! I came to the conclusion that whatever happens to us is meant to be, and it's always for the better. The blogging community is a hell of a support system, take advantage of it :)...All the best, xo

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  16. Oh Rachel. I was both happy and sad to see this post. It took courage to write it, that's for sure. But blogs I think need that personal touch...that insight into our lives because frankly it's not all about color and pretty posts all of the time. There are real lives behind all of that. I am so so sorry about the direction that your life took four months ago. No matter the situation between you two it is hard, I can only imagine. But as you said, you have a new path, a new direction and a new life, which will indeed be wonderful. I hope you keep the blog going, i love your insight and your voice so very much! Hugs! xo

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  17. Thank you so much for all of your beautiful words of encouragement + support. I'm feeling very blessed to have such amazing friends through this community xx

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  18. How very brave of you to write this post, Rachel - the whole time I was reading I was so in awe that you have managed to keep your inspiring blog going through this tough time. I have recently been feeling the same way about my own blog - not that I have gone through anything near as tough as you, but, over time, your life and interests do change, and I think that our blogs should reflect where we're at the time, rather than staying stagnant, whether that's at the same address or a new one. I will continue to follow you, whatever you decide.

    Wishing you all the best for the next few months.

    Andrea x

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  19. Rachel, I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through, but I am relieved to hear you are coming out the other side now, ready to start a new and no doubt exciting chapter of your life!
    Like all the others that have already left comments, I would love for you to continue writing your blog, it is always a joy to read, and was one of the blogs that inspired me to start my own.
    What ever you decide, I wish you all the happiness, as you certainly deserve it,

    Rochelle xx

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  20. Lovely post Rach, have been thinking of you. Your grace and honesty is inspiring. I would definitely encourage you to keep writing and creating, even if you just pick and choose what you share on the blog and let things evolve naturally. You have a gift that obviously so many people can relate to, but you also need to look after you first. Wishing you nothing but the best with everything new that comes your way. xxxx

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  21. So sorry to hear that you have had such a difficult time but I'm pleased to read that you are now feeling more positive - just to say that I really enjoy your lovely blog and hope that you will continue blogging! Wishing you much happiness in the future.
    http://missbbobochic.blogspot.com/

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  22. Hi Rachel,
    I have been reading your blog for a while now and I was really moved by your post as I split with my husband and parter of 10 years in August last year and can really relate with how you are feeling. I too had to face the fear of being 34 and single. At the end of last year I started to see a councillor and the most valuable bit of advice she gave me was to face the fear of lonelyness. Once I did this I realised it was not as scary as I thought. Just remember all the positive things you have in your life and to make each day special even by doing something little like treating yourself to a piece of chocolate. Be kind to yourself, spend time with those who love you and remember things will get better. Everyone used to say this to me so much I got sick of it but it really is true! Now I have reached a place where I am really proud of myself for following through on such a life changing event and I know things will be the same for you. There is so much to look forward to in life.
    I have always loved your blog and your words of inspiration and I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.
    Victoria (NZ)

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  23. Rachel, No one knows what the future holds for them, but we must be grateful that we are here to live a life to the fullest. Take every day as it comes, keep it real, and above all be kind to yourself. That is the best you can do. Good luck to you and what your future brings you; kudos to you for writing this wonderful personal post; and try to remember, that everything works out in the end. Just listen to your instincts. I take my hat off to you! :)x

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  24. It sounds like your head and heart are in a good place (albeit a very difficult one). And you're right; amazing opportunities are headed your way in this new chapter! I think I can speak for most of us when I say that I hope you won't stop blogging here because your corner of the web is such a lovely place to visit, but certainly do what is best for you. Maybe that does mean a fresh start on the interwebs as well? Sending love - ox

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  25. When something ends or is taken away from us it is only because something better lay ahead. It must have taken alot of courage to write this and I must say you are one very brave, courageous and inspiring woman. Your strength will show more than ever now and I am sure your future holds great things. I too am facing a difficult situation as my BF of 7 years has left today for England to work. We do not know when we will see each other again but faith is what i am holding on to. I very much love and am inspired by your blog and what ever you decide to do (continue or start over) i will support that.The best is yet to come! Always remember that.
    X

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  26. I know that was hard to write but I'm glad you did. Now is the time to be yourself, more than ever before. Take th time you need and do whatever you want, only good things will come your way once you decide what you want x

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  27. I'm so sorry to hear of this. I admire your candidness in sharing here on your blog. I hope it felt therapeutic for you to do so. I know when I've shared things on my blog it has felt very cleansing afterwards. I am pleased that you are coming out of the fog and seeing some light. I wish you all the best. Perhaps a new blog would help you feel like you've let go and started a new chapter? I'm sure everyone would follow you to that new blog home.

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  28. Thank you for sharing this Rachel. A few days ago my boyfriend and I decided to break up after being together for 5 years, since I was 17. So much of what you have written really resonates with me, so thank you again for sharing.

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  29. I'm really glad you decided to keep the blog, is one of my daily reads, and you really are so inspiring! I can't imagine how difficult that time must have been for you, but look at you now :)

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